Archive for July 2009

Positive thinking

July 30, 2009

Hi Winners,
I’m glad to meet you again, this time with the story from our former president “APJ Abdul Kalam” – “Power of Positive Talk”.  I hope most of the people would have read this story, I just want to re-inforce the concept again.   Enjoy reading it.

“I remember my dad teaching me the power of language at a very young age. Not only did my dad understand that specific words affect our mental pictures, but he understood words are a powerful programming factor in lifelong success.

One particularly interesting event occurred when I was eight. As a kid, I was always climbing trees, poles, and literally hanging around upside down from the rafters of our lake house. So, it came to no surprise for my dad to find me at the top of a 30-foot tree swinging back and forth. My little eight-year-old brain didn’t realize the tree could break or I could get hurt. I just thought it was fun to be up so high.

My older cousin, Tammy, was also in the same tree. She was hanging on the first big limb, about ten feet below me. Tammy’s mother also noticed us at the exact time my dad did. About that time a huge gust of wind came over the tree. I could hear the leaves start to rattle and the tree begin to sway. I remember my dad’s voice over the wind yell, “Bart, Hold on tightly.” So I did. The next thing I know, I heard Tammy screaming at the top of her lungs, laying flat on the ground. She had fallen out of the tree.

I scampered down the tree to safety. My dad later told me why she fell and I did not. Apparently, when Tammy’s mother felt the gust of wind, she yelled out, “Tammy, don’t fall!” And Tammy did. fall.

My dad then explained to me that the mind has a very difficult time processing a negative image. In fact, people who rely on internal pictures cannot see a negative at all. In order for Tammy to process the command of not falling, her nine-year-old brain had to first imagine falling, then try to tell the brain not to do what it just imagined. Whereas, my eight-year-old brain instantly had an internal image of me hanging on tightly.

This concept is especially useful when you are attempting to break a habit or set a goal. You can’t visualize not doing something. The only way to properly visualize not doing something is to actually find a word for what you want to do and visualize that.  For example, when I was thirteen years old, I played for my junior high school football team. I tried so hard to be good, but I just couldn’t get it together at that age. I remember hearing the words run through my head as I was running out for a pass, “Don’t drop it!” Naturally, I dropped the ball.

My coaches were not skilled enough to teach us proper “self-talk..” They just thought some kids could catch and others couldn’t. I’ll never make it pro, but I’m now a pretty good Sunday afternoon football player, because all my internal dialogue is positive and encourages me to win. I wish my dad had coached me playing football instead of just climbing trees. I might have had a longer football career.

Here is a very easy demonstration to teach your kids and your friends the power of a toxic vocabulary. Ask them to hold a pen or pencil. Hand it to them. Now, follow my instructions carefully. Say to them, “Okay, try to drop the pencil.” Observe what they do.

Most people release their hands and watch the pencil hit the floor. You respond, “You weren’t paying attention. I said TRY to drop the pencil. Now please do it again.” Most people then pick up the pencil and pretend to be in excruciating pain while their hand tries but fails to drop the pencil.   The point is made.

If you tell your brain you will “give it a try,” you are actually telling your brain to fail. I have a “no try” rule in my house and with everyone I interact with. Either people will do it or they won’t. Either they will be at the party or they won’t. I’m brutal when people attempt to lie to me by using the word try. Do they think I don’t know they are really telegraphing to the world they have no intention of doing it but they want me to give them brownie points for pretended effort? You will never hear the words “I’ll try” come out of my mouth unless I’m teaching this concept in a seminar.

If you “try” and do something, your unconscious mind has permission not to succeed. If I truly can’t make a decision I will tell the truth. “Sorry John. I’m not sure if I will be at your party or not. I’ve got an outstanding commitment. If that falls through, I will be here. Otherwise, I will not. Thanks for the invite.”
People respect honesty. So remove the word “try” from your vocabulary.

My dad also told me that psychologists claim it takes seventeen positive statements to offset one negative statement. I have no idea if it is true, but the logic holds true. It might take up to seventeen compliments to offset the emotional damage of one harsh criticism.
These are concepts that are especially useful when raising children.

Ask yourself how many compliments you give yourself daily versus how many criticisms. Heck, I know you are talking to yourself all day long. We all have internal voices that give us direction.

So, are you giving yourself the 17:1 ratio or are you shortchanging yourself with toxic self-talk like, ” I’m fat. Nobody will like me. I’ll try this diet. I’m not good enough. I’m so stupid. I’m broke, etc. etc.”

If our parents can set a lifetime of programming with one wrong statement, imagine the kind of programming you are doing on a daily basis with your own internal dialogue. Here is a list of Toxic Vocabulary words.

Notice when you or other people use them.

  • But: Negates any words that are stated before it.
  • Try: Presupposes failure.
  • If: Presupposes that you may not.
  • Might: It does nothing definite. It leaves options for your listener.
  • Would Have: Past tense that draws attention to things that didn’t actually happen.
  • Should Have: Past tense that draws attention to things that didn’t actually happen (and implies guilt.)
  • Could Have: Past tense that draws attention to things that didn’t actually happen but the person tries to take credit as if it did happen.
  • Can’t/Don’t: These words force the listener to focus on exactly the opposite of what you want. This is a classic mistake that parents and coaches make without knowing the damage of this linguistic error.

Examples:
Toxic phrase: “Don’t drop the ball!”
Likely result: Drops the ball
Better language: “Catch the ball!”

Toxic phrase: You shouldn’t watch so much television.”
Likely result: Watches more television.
Better language: “I read too much television makes people stupid. You might find yourself turning that TV off and picking up one of those books more often!”

Exercise: Take a moment to write down all the phrases you use on a daily basis or any Toxic self-talk that you have noticed yourself using. Write these phrases down so you will begin to catch yourself as they occur and change them.”

Hope you had enjoyed the story and got wonder message on positive thinking.

I will meet you with yet another interesting thought, till then have many wonderful moments.

Cheers,
Saran

“It’s not ‘what you are’ or ‘who you are’ decides your destination.  It’s ‘what you think’ that decides your destination”

From Good to Outstanding

July 27, 2009

Hi winners,

Today I was in a discussion with my General Manager along with my fellow colleague discussing about the performance of my team members.   The discussion was going on for a long time until we realized that the time is 10:50pm.   The summary of the discussion is “how to identify a person’s performance as Good, Very Good or Excellent”.    This had made me to remember a story that I had read long back.     With the help of my friend “Google” I had discovered that story.   I am sharing that with you for invoking your neurons.    This story will give you a crystal clear thought on boosting your performance from Good to Great.   Enjoy reading it.

Employee “Saran” in a company walked up to his manager and asked what my job is for the day?
The manager took “Saran” to the bank of a river and asked him to cross the river and reach the other side of the bank. “Saran” completed this task successfully and reported back to the manager about the completion of the task assigned.
The manager smiled and said “GOOD JOB”

Next day Employee “Venkat” reported to the same manager and asked him the job for the day.
The manager assigned the same task as above to this person also. The Employee “Venkat” before starting the task saw Employee “Mohan” struggling in the river to reach the other side of the bank. He realized “Mohan” has the same task. Now “Venkat” not only crossed the river but also helped “Mohan” to cross the river.
“Venkat” reported back to the manager and the manager smiled and said “VERY GOOD JOB”

The following day Employee “Ranga” reported to the same manager and asked him the job for the day. The manager assigned the same task again.
Employee “Ranga” before starting the work did some home work and realized “Saran”, “Venkat” & “Mohan” all has done this task before. He met them and understood how they performed. He realized that there is a need for a guide and training for doing this task. He sat first and wrote down the procedure for crossing the river, he documented the common mistakes people made, and tricks to do the task efficiently and effortlessly. Using the methodology he had written down he crossed the river and reported back to the manager along with documented procedure and training material.
The manger said “Ranga” you have done an “EXCELLENT JOB”.

The following day Employee “Sudhir“‘ reported to the manager and asked him the job for the day. The manager assigned the same task again.
“Sudhir” studied the procedure written down by “Ranga” and sat and thought about the whole task.  He realized company is spending lot of money in getting this task completed. He decided not to cross the river, but sat and designed and implemented a bridge across the river and went back to his manager and said, “You no longer need to assign this task to any one”.
The manager smiled and said “OUTSTANDING JOB ‘Sudhir’. I AM VERY PROUD OF YOU.”

What is the difference between Saran, Venkat, Ranga & Sudhir?

Many a times in life we get tasks to be done at home, at office, at play. Most of us end up doing what is expected out of us. Do we feel happy? Most probably yes.
We would be often disappointed when the recognition is not meeting our expectation.

Let us compare ourselves with “Venkat”. Helping someone else the problem often improves our own skills. There is an old proverb (I do not know the author) “learn to teach and teach to learn”. From a company point of view “Venkat” has demonstrated much better skills than “Saran” since one more task for the company is completed.  “Ranga” created knowledge base for the team. More often than not, we do the task assigned to us without checking history. Learning from other’s mistake is the best way to improve efficiency. This knowledge creation for the team is of immense help. Re-usability reduces cost there by increases productivity of the team. “Ranga” demonstrated good “team-player” skills.

Now to the outstanding person, “Sudhir” made the task irrelevant; he created a Permanent Asset to the team.
If you notice Venkat, Ranga and Sudhir all have demonstrated “team performance” over an above individual performance; also they have demonstrated a very invaluable characteristic known as “INITIATIVE”.

Initiative pays of every where whether at work or at personal life. If you put initiative you will succeed. Initiative is a continual process and it never ends.
This is because this year’s achievement is next year’s task. You cannot use the same success story every year.   The story provides an instance of performance, where as measurement needs to be spread across at least 6-12 months. Consequently performance should be consistent and evenly spread.
Out-of-Box thinkers are always premium and that is what everyone constantly looks out for. Initiative, Out-of-Box thinking and commitment are the stepping stone to success.  Initiative should be lifelong. Think of out of the box.

Hope you had got an extra ordinary message from this story.     I request all of you to capture this message in your long term memory and prove your excellence in your job.  

Have many wonderful moments ahead.

cheers,

Saran

Success is not a milestone, it should be your Journey

Never cry for one who makes you cry

July 25, 2009

Hi folks,

I’m back with yet another story, this is totally different and ofcouse unexpected one.  But I feel that this will be highly motivating especially for the teens.  Ok let me narrate the story that I had read long ago.

Once, there was a guy, who was in love with a gal. She wasn’t the most beautiful and gorgeous but for him, she was everything.  He used to dream about her, about spending the rest of life with her. His friends told him, “why do you dream so much about her, when you don’t even know if she loves you or not? First tell her your feelings, and get to know if she likes you or not”. He felt that was the right way. The girl knew from the beginning, that this guy loves her. One day when he proposed, she rejected him. His friends thought he would take to alcohol; drugs etc. and ruin his life.  To their surprise, he was not depressed. When they asked him how was it that he is not sad, he replied, “‘why should I feel bad?       I lost one who never loved me & she lost the one who really loved and cared for her.”

Never Cry for One Who Makes You Cry!

How true is this my friends?   God had provided us a wonderful body and soul for the sake of experiencing and enjoying our life, but lot of ignorant and coward people sacrifice their life for this perceived love failure,  I had also seen people who had lost interest in life and gone mad.      If you had failed in love it does not mean that your love is false, it actually means that you had loved a person who does not deserve to be your love partner.    

What ever happens in our life, we need to grab the experience out of it and start moving on.    Life is a beautiful journey you should not abandon this journey because a person you liked did not board the vehicle.   Instead start loving your journey and gift it with lot of success and achivements, if you did so then your journey will become meaningful and you will create a meaning to lot of people in this world.

So lets start loving our life and make our journey a meaningful one….

Have a wonderful time.

cheers,

Saran.

Attitude

July 23, 2009

Jerry was the kind of guy you love to hate. He was always in a good mood and always had something positive to say. When someone would ask him how he was doing, he would reply, “If I were any better, I would be twins!”

He was a unique manager because he had several waiters who had followed him around from restaurant to restaurant. The reason the waiters followed Jerry was because of his attitude. He was a natural motivator. If an employee was having a bad day, Jerry was there telling the employee how to look on the positive side of the situation.

Seeing this style really made me curious, so one day I went up to Jerry and asked him, “I don’t get it! You can’t be a positive person all of the time. How do you do it?”

Jerry replied, “Each morning I wake up and say to myself, ‘Jerry, you have two choices today. You can choose to be in a good mood or you can choose to be in a bad mood.’ I choose to be in a good mood. Each time something bad happens, I can choose to be a victim or I can choose to learn from it. I choose to learn from it. Every time someone comes to me complaining, I can choose to accept their complaining or I can point out the positive side of life. I choose the positive side of life.”

“Yeah, right, it’s not that easy,” I protested.

“Yes, it is,” Jerry said. “Life is all about choices. When you cut way all the junk, every situation is a choice. You choose how you react to situations. You choose how people will affect your mood. You choose to be in a good mood or bad mood. The bottom line: It’s your choice how you live life.”

I reflected on what Jerry said. Soon thereafter, I left the restaurant industry to start my own business. We lost touch, but I often thought about him when I made a choice about life instead of reacting to it.

Several years later, I heard that Jerry did something you are never supposed to do in a restaurant business: he left the back door open one morning and was held up at gunpoint by three armed robbers. While trying to open the safe, his hand, shaking from nervousness, slipped off the combination. The robbers panicked and shot him. Luckily, Jerry was found relatively quickly and rushed to the local trauma centre.

After 18 hours of surgery and weeks of intensive care, Jerry was released from the hospital with fragments of the bullets still in his body.

I saw Jerry about six months after the accident. When I asked him how he was, he replied, “If I were any better, I’d be twins. Wanna see my scars?”

I declined to see his wounds, but did ask him what had gone through his mind as the robbery took place. “The first thing that went through my mind was that I should have locked the back door,” Jerry replied. “Then, as I lay on the floor, I remembered that I had two choices: I could choose to live, or I could choose to die. I chose to live.”

“Weren’t you scared? Did you lose consciousness?” I asked.

Jerry continued, “The paramedics were great. They kept telling me I was going to be fine. But when they wheeled me into the emergency room and I saw the expressions on the faces of the doctors and nurses, I got really scared. In their eyes, I read, ‘He’s a dead man.’

“I knew I needed to take action.”

“What did you do?” I asked.

“Well, there was a big, burly nurse shouting questions at me,” said Jerry. “She asked if I was allergic to anything. ‘ Yes,’ I replied. The doctors and nurses stopped working as they waited for my reply. I took a deep breathe and yelled, ‘ Bullets!’ Over their laughter, I told them. ‘I am choosing to live. Operate on me as if I am alive, not dead.”

Jerry lived thanks to the skill of his doctors, but also because of his amazing attitude. I learned from him that every day we have the choice to live fully. Attitude, after all, is everything.
 
******
 
You have 2 choices now:
 
1. Crib about your daily life and whatever you are doing and be unhappy . . .
 
2.  Enjoy every moment of your life & give in your Best.

cheers,

Saran

Courtesy: Anonymous

My first post……Motivation is my cup of Tea

July 23, 2009

Dear all,
It’s been a long desire for me to start a blog for myself; just now I had made an appointment with myself to do this.

As a philosopher said, “Each and every human being is unique having an innate potential and aspiration”. My aspiration is to make each person identify their innate potentials and make them come up in their life. Yes….. My passion is to Motivate others.

To be frank, I did not know about my potential for a long time, my close friends and Juniors had identified this and made me realise it. I used to go to my college for lot of “Guest lectures” on career development, Personality development, Preparation for Interviews and Group discussions. I also used to train my room mates for a job in the software industry. I’m very much thankful to these people especially Sudhir Kumar, Murugan, Kalyan……… These folks had provided me with lot of comments about my motivational skills. Thanks to all those Pals….So I had thought to start blogging in the area of Motivation and empowerment…. and finally here it is.
From now on, all my future blogs will be based on Personality development, Innovation, Creativity, Self Improvement, Optimism (B +ve attitude), Success…….

That’s all for now….

Will meet you with more interesting stuffs.

cheers,
Saran.